After you, your Majesty!

What ever happened to common decency, manners and courtesy?  Especially on a sunny Friday afternoon or the last weekday before a long weekend.  People have a “me first” attitude and if you’re in the way, well that’s just too bad for you – you goin’ DOWN!!

‘Course, on the other hand, we have the “hall monitor” types who insist on moseying through life at a painfully slow pace and making sure you are trapped behind them with no escape.  This is true for traffic, grocery store aisles, sidewalks and just about any hallway where there are more than 10 people walking around.  If you’re on a sight-seeing tour of Eugene, at least have the decency to let those of us who live here and travel this road every day to pass.  And I realize we’re supposed to be bike-friendly, but when there’s a specific, extra wide lane for you and you insist on riding ON the white line, you’re just being a jerk.  It’s rush hour, jack-wagon – get out of the line of fire!  Too bad clipping them with my mirror is frowned upon.

Today I hit the trifecta, so to speak:  It’s a sunny Friday, it’s the last weekday before a long weekend, and I had a bunch of errands to run at various stores where no one was in a hurry to get anywhere, apparently.  Today must have been “meet-your-long-lost-friends” day at every store I went to – people were blocking aisles and chit-chatting with each other, completely oblivious to the fact that they were not only blocking the aisle, but that someone was waiting patiently to get past them.  They have the audacity to get pissy, like I’M interrupting them when I politely say, “excuse me…”  REALLY?!?  There’s a Starbucks for that, bucko!  They have comfy sofa’s just for YOU, Captain YOU-Planet!

This is a common occurrence while driving in this town:  I’ll be clipping along at the posted speed – usually about 35mph around town – and I’ll notice I’m coming up on a pokey-joe who’s doing about 20….nowhere NEAR a school….on a Sunday.  I slow, of course, and I’m careful not to tailgate as my truck does NOT like to stop on a dime.  They almost ALWAYS put on their brakes anyway and I can see in their mirrors that they’re freakin’ out a little.  Why?!?  Did you not see that big fat “35” on the sign you just passed?  No?  Oh look – there’s another one! 

The best had to be the Target employee that I stopped to ask where something was.  Em and I bought a backyard fire pit and I was hoping to get a Duraflame log to burn in it, but this close to summer, I guess they’re all out.  I stopped the first employee I saw in a red shirt and asked where they were.  I realized as soon as I stopped her that this would be an interesting conversation – every single part of her face was pierced, as was her tongue.  I couldn’t SEE the tongue piercing, but it was evident in her speech.  “Can you tell me if you have any Duraflame logs still in stock somewhere?”  “jusht a shecond, lemme csheck” (all the while it’s clicking on her teeth) <pause while she radio’s her co-workers>  “No, shorry, thoshe are sheashonal.”  Pure entertainment.  My day just got better.