“Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…”

I miss working in an office.  A few short months left of school and I can get back out there, so in the meantime, I thought I’d get my fix of office humor and share with you!

Ever notice that most offices post so many notices that no one ever really pays attention to them?  How ‘bout this one (that I’m sure some of you have seen before):

Please Notice!!
You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice.  And, we have noticed that some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable.

It has been noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably unnoticeable. Therefore, this notice is to remind you to notice the notices and to respond to the notices because we do not want the notices to go unnoticed.

>From the Notice Committee for Noticing Notices

And let’s have some fun with office sarcasm:

Love how you turned my compliment about you being wise into me insulting you as old.  You’ll notice I didn't say you were easy to work with. 

Mock FAX machines all you want, but I never got a two-word reply-all on a FAX.

A “vanilla envelope”?  Oh, this I've got to see…

How sick I feel these days is directly proportional to how many sick days I have left…**cough**cough**

We passed around a “Get Well Soon” card for a co-worker recovering from surgery.  The box crossed out “Soon” and wrote in “Now”.

Oh NO! We’re trapped in this meeting at 5:45 and someone just asked “the Over-explainer” a question! Someone pull a fire alarm!”

Here’s something I will NEVER miss: Employee evaluations.  Here’s a few that slipped past the political correctness monitors:

Works well under constant supervision and when cornered like a rat in a trap.

I would not allow this employee to breed.

When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change whatever foot was previously there.

Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

There.  That should hold me over for awhile!