In today’s
world of ‘political correctness’, I love it when people come up with new ways
to reference everyday terms. People don’t want to be “wrong”, so they get
creative. Here’s a couple of my favorites:
· “Kidnapping” is
such a strong term…I prefer “surprise adoption”.
· I don't like the
term "stalking"...I prefer "aggressively pursuing a hopeful
objective" or "collector of dolls made from your hair".
· I'm not actually
“dangerously unbalanced”. At most, I'm “gracefully insane”.
· He doesn’t have a
“dirty mind”, he has “Introspective pornographic moments”.
Then there are
those insults that are just mean enough to be funny:
· I`m sorry I hurt
your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already
knew.
· To all the
students who drop out and fail high school: Remember two things, 1. You tried
your best, and 2. I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.
· As an outsider,
what do YOU think of the human race?
And who keeps
changing the real, politically correct terms? Who can keep up? Here
are some that should never change:
· Shoplifter:
Cost-of-Living Adjustment Specialist
· Prostitute:
Sex care provider
· Assassination:
Involuntary term limitation
· Failure:
Non-traditional success
· Homeless
person: Residentially flexible individual
· Ignorant:
Factually unencumbered
· Insane:
Reality challenged
· Mugging:
Unforseen funding of underclass
So I’m not ‘old
and fat’ I’m a ‘chronologically gifted person of substance’!
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