I don't like to complain...I LOVE to complain!

I’m pretty sure my fairy godmother isn’t coming.  Either that, or I accidently killed her with a fly swatter.  Woops!  My house looks like a tornado sat around all day and watched TV.....or slept in.  Being unemployed while waiting for school to start was relaxing and my house was clean, but I think I have less time as a student than I did with a full-time job!  Time to get things back in order this weekend and see if we can stay on top of it.  Can’t think of a better way to spend the first sunny weekend in forever.  No, really.  What do you mean you can’t feel the enthusiasm?  Actually, what I’ll likely do is try to get outside and walk a little, get some fun stuff in, and yes, a little housework.    

I love to make fun of things.  Things, people, institutions...whatever.  Everything is fair game.  My favorite is TV commercials – commercials about everything.  Medicine, products, restaurants, stores – you name it.  Have you seen the ‘IKEA’ ad where the boy is put on time-out in the kitchen?  The opening line is the mother saying, “You’re on time-out, Leo” and the voice-over states, “Some things won’t last 25 years….”  Yeah, like Leo.  Looks like he won’t make it past lunch.  And where did Mom go?  Is she completely oblivious to the mayhem unfolding in her kitchen?  See, as a mother, I don’t see the “indestructible kitchen”, I see the brat who needs a spankin’ and a straight jacket!

Recently, there was a little diddy circulating on Facebook asking “which Disney Princess are you?”  I didn’t take the “test”, but I’m pretty sure I’m most like Belle, since at some point, my day usually involves talking to furniture.  And who needs Prince Charming?  I just want those little forest animals to clean my house.  Could you imagine?  Hey, I got an idea:  think I can train my two cats to pick up a little instead of loafing around the house all day?  Eh, it was worth a fleeting thought.

Actually, according to the most recent ‘Febreeze’ ads, all I need to do is spray a little Febreeze around and my filth will smell divine!  I’m sorry, but that is the epitome of false advertising.  It’s time to clean the fridge when something closes it from the inside and no amount of spray is gonna change the stench of a bad onion hiding in there.

How come they never show anyone cleaning a dirty bathroom?  They always show them cleaning a clean bathroom.  Toilet paper is demonstrated with blue liquid and the floor around the toilet is always sparkly white.  Speaking of toilet paper – they always show it flowing freely.  Is it really necessary for the first square to be glued down?  By the way….word of advice: When using a toilet plunger, always remember to keep your mouth shut.  They’d never show THAT on a TV ad, now would they?  Maybe on CSI.