“’I’ before ‘E’ except after ‘C’, and when sounding like ‘A’ as in ‘neighbor’ and ‘weigh’ and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May….”

Today was my first day of school.  College.  I’m getting my Associate of Applied Science Degree in Accounting.  I have put this off for WAY too long.  I am the oldest person in all of my classes, except for the Professors.  Let me tell you how my day went – it was an AWESOME day for people-watching.  I’ll start by stating I did not sleep well last night.  I was so nervous about today that I could not stop my mind racing.  Needless to say, at about 2:30pm, I hit a wall and had a tough time staying awake! 

My classes are all lined up, one after the other – I have three: Math, Intro to Accounting, and a Computer class.  First class starts at 10:30am.  Today, I dropped Em off at school at 8:45 and stopped at Starbucks for my morning "meds".  I knew it was going to be a long day when my first conversation started off with a brief exchange with the Barista that went something like this:

Barista: Good morning – off to work this morning?

Me: No, going to school.

Barista: Oh! What are you studying? (Very excited sounding)

Me: Accounting

Barista: Ew. I’m glad YOU’RE doing that, so people like me don’t have to.

I smiled politely and thought, “Better get used to that apron, Sister.”

Then off to school I went.  I wanted to get there early, scope out my classes, and pick

up something from the book store.  I also wanted to see how bad it was going to be to have to carry around 35 pounds of books.  I’ll tell ya….35 pounds of books is HEAVY.  I found out I don’t have to carry ALL of them all of the time, so it’s really only 34 pounds.  I’m considering a wagon.  Maybe I’ll lose a couple of pounds by the end of term?  We’ll see……I’ll keep you posted.

The Math class opened early, so I discarded my coffee, went in, found a seat up front-ish and got out my little pencil case, my notebook and textbook.  It felt weird.  I expected the stadium-style seating you see on TV, but it was just a regular classroom.  In strolled 30 other kids - and I mean KIDS - all chit-chatting with each other about their schedules and such.  Big sign on the door reads, “NO FOOD OR BEVERAGES”.  Every one of them had a water bottle, soda can or coffee cup.  Apparently, they either can’t read or the rules simply do not apply.  Whatever….I drank my coffee and threw it out before class.  Like a good girl.

The Professor came in, got his stuff all set up and waited.  He began just after 10:30 to allow stragglers to get settled, being the first day and all.  Now, this wasn't such a bad class.  Aside from the 30 entitled kids who can’t read, it went fairly well.  He outlined his expectations and began the first lesson.  Easy peasy to me – I love math.  About halfway thru class, the boy in front of me (in the front row), slumped down in his chair, leaned his head back on the seat and fell asleep.  The Professor walked over, stood in front of him, smiled broadly and said, “I don’t know, do we let him sleep?  Poor thing.”  To which the student startled, sat up straight and turned a lovely shade of red.  I’m gonna like this class….a lot.

Next, I headed to my Intro to Accounting class.  30+ kids filed in, no one said a word.  You could hear a pin drop, it was so quiet.  The instructor began precisely at Noon.  She must have cleared her throat a hundred times throughout the entire class.  She did explain things well, but <ahem> the incessant clearing <ahem> might get <ahem> a tad distracting.  <Ahem>.  I sat in the front, again noticing that just about every student had some sort of beverage on the desk in front of them.  The boy next to me had no books, nothing to write with or on, and looked lost.  After the Professor’s initial speech regarding her expectations, she began the first lesson.  At that point, about five students got up and walked out.  Apparently, it was just too much.  I shared my book with lazy-boy and decided this was going to be a good class too...<Ahem>.

My last class is a Computer class.  Not sure why I couldn't have tested out of it, but maybe it’ll be an easy A.  I know computers well and I know WORD and EXCEL very well.  I walked in and instantly knew this would be an interesting class.  No sooner had I opened the door than a young girl in the middle of class loudly exclaimed, “HI!”, raised her hand to wave at me and demanded, “WHAT’ YOUR NAME?  I’M SAMANTHA!”  Startled by the assault, I said ‘hi’ and told her my name.  I sat down front... far away from mega-phone girl.  She kept talking to those around her, repeating everyone’s name a dozen times and generally behaving as though she was high on something. 

This classroom was more the theater style I was expecting, but it was quite old and obviously designed for skinny little people.  They had the little desk tops that pull up and over in front of you, attached to the chair, leaving about a foot of room for someone to sit.  I am not a small lady.  The top of the desk was barely the size of a piece of paper and because I am not a small lady, I could not keep it level on my lap, what with the one-butt-cheek seat and all. 

After squeezing into the miniature furniture, I got out my notebook and textbooks, and started copying what the Professor was writing.  I found it sort of funny that his name was “Grimwood”, since he sort of looked like one of the professors from Harry Potter.  His name certainly fit him.  He was exactly what I pictured when I saw his name.  He began class precisely at 2:00pm.  There were maybe 15 of us seated.  He remarked that out of the 50+ students enrolled, it was unusual to see so few of us on the first day.  He began his intro speech of expectations and since I appeared to be the only person in class who had the required materials, he asked to borrow my books for the demonstration.  Now, you’ll recall that the seating is theater-style with tiny little desks that I squeezed into.  I sat in the third row back.  I stood to hand him my books, tipping the desktop and dropping my notebook in the lap of the girl next to me and nearly fell over the seat in front of me handing him my books.  Good times - very graceful.  Thankfully, he handed them back to me via the girl in front of me so I didn't have to get up again.  He may have sensed my awkward discomfort.

About a half hour into the class, a back door opened and in filed the other 35 students, who had apparently been waiting outside for an engraved invitation.  The visibly peeved Professor waited ever so patiently as they all found seats and he began his instructions over again.  Just then, in walked a woman who must have been six feet tall, a bit heavier than me, breathing heavily, carrying a large heavy-laden backpack.  She sat directly behind me, her knees pushing the back of my already crowded seat.  She must have huffed and puffed for 20 minutes trying to fit into her seat and get her stuff out.  Poor thing.  I felt her pain.

Once the instruction was complete, the floor opened for questions.  One boy asked if the textbooks were really necessary.  After a long pause and a direct "I-can't-believe-you-just-asked-that-out-loud" look, the Professor said, “I guess if you want to pass the class, unless you’re just a really good guesser.” 

All in all, it was a good day.  I like my classes, I think I can handle the workload well, and the instructors are easy to understand.  Lots of walking, though.  That’s a good thing.  The parking lot fills up fast, so I park in the back 40 and hoof it.  Good thing I got there early!  I'll go back.