I never know what to say…

I've often had an idea for a greeting card, but was fairly sure it would not be well-received.  You know…my snarky attitude and all…  Well, recently, I came across some that were right up my alley!  I should probably have submitted mine when the ideas crossed my mind!

FRONT: I heard you’ve gone deaf…

INSIDE:  I SAID I HEARD YOU’VE GONE DEAF!

FRONT: I’m sorry to hear you’re brain dead

INSIDE: It’s really not that bad, when you think about it.

FRONT: I’m sorry to hear you have developed Alzheimer’s disease.

INSIDE: I’m sorry to hear you have developed Alzheimer’s disease.

Along these lines are my favorite quotes from “Jack Handy” of Saturday Night Lives’, “Deep Thoughts…by Jack Handy”

The face of a child can say it all…especially the mouth part of the face.

If a kid asks where rain come from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, “God is crying.”  And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, “Probably because of something you did.”

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that’s what REALLY throws you into a panic.

To me, boxing is like a ballet…except there’s no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.

If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it’s probably best to avoid eye contact.

Consider the daffodil.  And while you’re doing that, I’ll be over here, looking through your stuff.