Sunday, September 22, 2013

On the First day of Christmas...

This holiday season, being ‘on break’ from school between terms and  not having to work at the moment, I have been able to spend more time with my sister, accompanying her while we run errands, have lunch and dash about doing our Christmas shopping.  It has been quite entertaining, as you can imagine, with all the hustle and bustle of extra people out doing the very same thing.

I don’t regularly shop for clothing for myself, so styles come and go and I’m perfectly happy to wear what I’ve got in my closet.  I noticed, however, a trend in many of the clothing stores we visited: neon and stripes are HUGE, apparently.  Browsing in the plus-size stores and departments, I also noticed that styles have gone quite splashy – lots of glitter, sequins, big flowers and lots of ‘poofy’.  OK, I get dressing classy for your weight – it’s possible – but neon and glitter?  Really?  And who’s making the decisions on sizing?  It seems the larger the size, the bigger the arms and sleeves.  Some of those blouses had wings!  And whose bright idea was it to gather the waistline of each and every top?  The LAST thing I want to do is draw attention to my li’l muffin top.  OK, maybe mine is more like a busted can of biscuits, but still…drawing the waist in just gives us a nice pocket to store our ‘tires’ in!

I must say, the people-watching was great.  The other day we were wandering around Wal-Mart and overheard a conversation between two guys – one of whom was an employee of the store, as indicated by his vest.  He was talking with another guy who very closely resembled the Mucinex monster.  The employee said, “I thought you were working today?”  Mr. Sickie said, “No, I called in sick today.” and then promptly started fishing through a nearby bin of movies, while openly coughing all over them.  Who calls in sick to their place of work and then goes shopping AT THAT STORE?!?

My favorite one, though, HAD to be the cashier at Dick’s Sporting Goods.  I made a joke about tomorrow being the end of the world and she shot me a look and announced, “You know, I’m really depressed about that because I’m just not sure if it’s true or not.”  I couldn't help looking surprised, but she noticed the disbelief on my face before I could gather my wits and followed that up with, “Don’t make fun of me – I've seen a lot of convincing evidence!”  Yet she still asked if we’d like a gift receipt.  You mean for the 26th?  I’d say the number of people shopping is a pretty big indication that no one actually believes that tomorrow is the end of all things.

I, for one, do not buy the whole doomsday baloney.  I tend to put my faith in scripture, which tells us that no man knows the day or the hour.  That’s good enough for me.  It still doesn't prevent me from coming up with creative ways to mess with people.  You know, like putting an outfit on my front lawn on days when someone predicts doomsday.  If it wasn't pouring down rain, I would SO do that!  I don’t keep things I don’t wear, so I don’t have the “spare” clothing to ruin in that manner.


Enjoy the holidays everyone!  Pretty sure we’ll all still be here to use our gift receipts!

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