KILLITKILLITKILLIT!

Alright, if you’re tired of me ranting about spiders, you may want to move on but another horrid encounter today has shaken my resolve.  What is it about a spider being ON your person that makes one react so violently?  I thought having one crawl across my face was bad…I actually bruised my cheek, slapping at it when I felt it.  In that situation, however, I swatted it…correction: I beat myself up…trying to get it off my face and it landed on the bedspread (I was drifting off to sleep) and I was able to see it and KILL IT!  Today was more frightening…

Picture a beautiful, clear, warm, summer day.  It’s about 4pm and I am headed out the door to go pick up Em from the mall.  Now, several people, including myself, have traversed the walkway to my door several times today.  Apparently, this is a speedy spider.  My habit is to open the door, watch for the sheen that usually reflects off of the web and clear it with our handy dandy web destroyer, a stick we especially fashioned for this purpose.  I figured, due to the lateness of the hour and the fact that someone had JUST passed through there not an hour ago, that I need not pause for spider patrol.  I was wrong.

As I was passing through it, I saw it and felt the familiar webbing across my face.  It was just a “line” so I didn’t freak out TOO badly, but I got the willies anyway.  I got in the car, put on my sunglasses, and messaged Em that I was on my way.  Just then, I felt a little tingle on top of my head and figured it was the slight breeze that was blowing my messy hair around.  Again…I was wrong.

When I felt the “body” on top of my head, I think I lost my mind.  Thank goodness I was still sitting in the driveway.  Had I been driving and discovered the wretched creature, I would have crashed for sure.  I began to violently pull at my hair, feeling that the spider was tangled in my hair and not going anywhere.  I bolted back into the house and into the bathroom, grabbed my brush and began furiously brushing my hair.  My skin is crawling as I write!!  No spider.  Was he still in the car?  Was he on the back of my shirt?  Did he fall down the front of my shirt?  No spider anywhere. 

Now that I’m certain he’s not in my hair anymore, I have Kate do a quick ‘spider check’ on my back and head back out the door to go pick up Em.  I scared myself so badly that I now had a case of hiccups and had gasped so violently that I kept coughing.  Trying to cough, hiccup and drive at the same time is not an easy task.  The hiccups are causing my eyes to water, so when I get to the mall to pick up the girls, it looks as though I’ve been crying.  I told Em, “No, there was a spider in my hair.  I scared myself so badly that I gave myself the hiccups and my head hurts from the hair pulling.  Oh, and by the way, I never found him…Check your seat.”   We never did find him...I still have the willies.